Love Uncertainty

".......I love you."

        They were standing at the top of the same hill their group used to meet.Actually their gang had five...but that day somehow he managed to be alone with her.They were classmates.

        She looked sharply at him..trying to find if he was kidding..but didn't find any clues.Then she said,"So this is the reason nobody else came today..the others know this ...right?"

        He said,"no...nobody even knows we met now....I was in love with you since we met..confirmed it so many times before telling you. I know most of your likes and dislikes.I like both of them."

        "what do you know of me?"

        "You are very special in some respects ...you like greenery the most when it is raining.you enjoy small moments....like you feel amazed writing a date with same date-month-year on your notes...you are innocent in such small things..you like your parents a lot..this is not just like all the others.some of the others feel 'responsible', some not even that, but you feel like 'you want to be responsible for them'..you can't even think they will ever make a mistake...you don't believe in God, still you pretend you believe...but I strongly guess you have your own definitions for Godliness rather than God...may be, I guess you think innocence as Godliness...Am I correct? "

        She didn’t answer.He stopped, took a deep breath and continued," you think so many times before starting some new work and also delay it testing whether you have the passion steadily....you enjoy light music than rock and old films than the new ones.In that case, I should say you are a little old fashioned..may be tomorrow in case you agree to my proposal, you might not come with me to disco..rather take me to a temple...but thats fine. I like all these..except one thing."

        She unconsciously said, "What?"

        He smiled and said," You will spend at least half an hour every morning before the mirror.Of course it adds to your beauty..but somehow after knowing this, my enjoyment in it decreased."

        "Hmm..anyways..I want to say 'no'. What if I said that?"

        "Do you know what I like the most in you...your innocence.I learnt it form you.Innocence induces uncertainty. If you say no, I will be just try to be uncertain. Uncertainty has hope.I just hope.I hope you will come one day for me.I shall pave a way for you to come and wait silently.Before I learnt this from you, I had a feeling of insecurity, whether you will love me or not..I didn't even want to propose for that reason..but now..I have hope instead..even if you say no...I just feel like a small child waiting for his mother to buy him sweet but she doesn't as he had caught cold."

        "So, you don't stop doing your work and be thinking of me..do you?"

        "No I won't..you also don't like me doing that..do you?"

        "But how long will you wait?"

        "for my life...of course..for your love..not for marriage..I love you and I love marrying you and leading a life with you, but if you don't accept now, I have some responsibilities and needs, I may marry someone else. If on someday, you come to me, I will still be loving you..may not be eligible for marriage though."

        "How can I believe in you?You say you love me..and are ready to get married to someone else..Won't you have the same feelings on them as you have on me now?Even if you say no..how can be someone sure?"

        "I said I would have some responsibilities for them..may be I would like them..but i don't think I can love any other person like this.And of course, I would pretend I love them..I shall provide the best I could...you didn't know me loving you until I myself told..i don't think they can know me not loving them. how can I make you sure about it? I don't know...I am saying these words from my heart..I think that's enough to be sure."

        The Sun was falling down, surroundings becoming cool, the nature was silent to hear what she says.

        There was a large silence and he couldn't withstand it.He said,"Please think about this seriously today.Tomorrow come here if you accept and if you don't, nobody will ever know of this.Anyways, this is our last year for our college, and I think I can manage this year being just a friend." He started walking silently.

        Next day, he came to the hill, saw someone at the top but couldn't recognize.He started climbing with a hope that it was her.He was still climbing..he was uncertain.